At least once a year I have a moment where I just cry out to God. I let everything come out. All feelings of regret, burdens, disappointments, and ....even speak faith. Sometimes it sounds like "God I'm sorry! I'm So sorry! I hurt... I want to be close to you again, I want to be called daughter by you again..." I just let everything out. With tears coming down, I creep down to my knees. I ask for forgiveness. I ask to be restored. I ask to be back in alignment with Him.
Why do I share? ...Because that moment happened not too long ago. It's quite bold to share but being a vessel for God means transparency. It doesn't matter what state you find yourself in, know that you are able to be used. You may have made a mistake, gotten off track, or even fallen into a lot of sin. One thing I've found to be true about God is that He'll pick you up right where you are. Sometimes, when you think you're out of timing, you are actually right where you need to be.
See, it's apart of the process. With every transition comes stumbling. However, it's still a time for you to become someone you weren't before. This is when confession can occur, when you acknowledge your current pain and use it to fuel who you are becoming. How so? Well, Ironically in that same moment I cried out to God, I realized my power. I took back my authority, prayed, and spoke against what I was feeling. Did the work stop there? No, I had to correct my wrongs. I had to stop the areas I was falling short in. I had to turn back to God with all of my heart, mind, body, and spirit. I had to say no to fear and walk in the path I know He's chosen for me. Is it easy letting go of what you've grown comfortable doing? No, but once you've picked yourself back up, giving that first "No"to sin becomes easier. After the first time denying sin, you'll gain strength to do it again and say "No". It's a matter of self-control which requires discipline. And you can't be disciplined until you've set your focus.
One thing is for sure though. There's going to be an outcome from your actions. Some days may result in regret while some days may bear mercy. On the other hand, it may open the door to death of a thing. When sin is conceived, it brings forth death."14But each one is tempted when by his own evil desires he is lured away and enticed. 15"Then after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death."(James 1:14-15)
We can't blame God for all of our disappointments. At times, we are guilty of what’s taken place. However, even God clothed Adam and Eve after they sinned in the Garden of Eden. Briefly, they ate of the tree of Knowledge of good and evil. Upon partaking in something God said not to, they received a new perspective that revealed more than they embarked. They hid themselves after the act and when faced to tell the truth about the situation, they didn't take full responsibility. They didn't own up and just say "I done it". Instead they shared reason why it wasn't completely their fault. Still, God clothed [comforted] them in the mess they made. There were long term consequences, but God still loved on them and still loves on us.
It makes me ask the question, why didn't God just start over? After all, they were the first two people. He could have reset and had a fresh new start. Was God teaching us the power in moving forward despite of what has occurred? Was He teaching us that even in flawed situations, He'll still get the glory? Was he showing us of His grace and mercy after a mistake? After all, everyone afterwards has to suffer the consequences from what they two initially done. It reminds me of the scripture "He has made everything beautiful in its time.” Also “He has put eternity in their hearts, except that no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end." (Ecclesiastes 3:11)
So, take this time to get in alignment with God and your life will begin to renew. Follow the thing in which you've been called to do. God operates in order. Therefore your desires will come as you position yourself correctly. You can't receive the blessing of the thing until you first take the necessary steps requires beforehand. You'll get the success, just start the business. You'll get the man, focus on your purpose and He'll come as you're walking in it. One thing I've noticed is we're similar to a flower that's able to bloom at anytime of the year. However, sometimes with lack of water [the living water], and sun [the word of God] you can become a bit dried out and feel withered. The greatest thing is, you can always go back to God and get refreshed.